Caution?

Before I get the chance to write a full entry, I just wanted to share a little food for thought... something that I read in my devotions:

"We may think we are being appropriately sensible when we measure the wind and waves and proceed with caution. But Jesus urges us to ignore them altogether and fix our eyes on Him."

This is HUGE for me. Too often I think I'm being prudent in my cautious attitude; and even though it's important not to be reckless with my actions or make irresponsible decisions, God doesn't want me to be overly-cautious because of things going on around me. He calls to me, wants me to listen to HIS voice, and let everything else fade away.
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On a silly note:

I saw some kangaroos in the wild! hehe

The picture is blurry because we didn't want to scare them off with a flash, but I literally saw over 25 kangaroos that day! (including a dead one on the side of the road...)

And the video is blurry because of the internet upload, but if you look closely enough, you can at least see the few kangaroos that started hopping away...especially the one at the end :)

Singing Heart

During Colour Conference 1 & 2 and Album Recording these past couple weeks, I served at the Kids' Welcome Table. Every day was pretty full on- with early mornings and late nights, but it was so worth the work to be able to bless others and experience this gathering of women for conference and fellow worhippers for the live recording! As you can imagine, though, my body got pretty weak. Lack of sleep and rainy mornings causing damp clothes that took forever to dry-- didn't really help either. As per my previous decision to not let circumstances overcome my attitude, I tried my best to look at all my situations with a different perspective. So here's my story:

As a result of pushing through being so sick-I actually lost my voice the day after Album. For a couple days I really couldn't talk at all, which wasn't super ideal since my job was to talk to the parents as they dropped their kids off and answer any questions they had... And during worship!! ahh! I was so irritated that every time I got to sit in on a worship session during the 2nd conference, I couldn't actually sing :( So as I'm standing there mouthing the words to my favorite new songs, trying with frustrated effort to make some sort of beautiful sound, it got me thinking:

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Maybe I get too caught up in thoughts about how good my own worship sounds and get so distracted by this that I fail to recognize His desire for my heart to be singing.

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It might be time to get my eyes off of myself and what I can do: Look to Him and what He's already done for me.

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Gradually my lower register came back-- so now I can either talk like a guy going through puberty or just whisper haha. I'm patiently awaiting the day that the rest of my voice will be restored, but while I can't sing a song in tune, I will still be making a joyful noise to Him in my heart!

Masterpiece

Lately, for some reason, my self esteem has been super low. I feel so small and insignificant; and the temptation to shrink back in fear and inhibition takes priority over my life. Negativity starts seeping into the core of my being and every situation that is thrown at me gets filtered through this pessimism....Hard work with no immediate results: then, why am I doing these meaningless tasks? And don't get me started on insecurity--almost everyone I know is a freaking awesome musician, with major talent, and beautiful personality. What unique offering do I have to give?

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Three thoughts:

1. "There is blessing to hard work. Do not see it as emptiness or a nuisance; see it as an opportunity. When you get a sense of your divine purpose, a sense that this is about something much bigger than you, even if the task at hand seems distant from what is in your heart, know that it is God-given. Allow the fact that God has called you and positioned you exactly where you are to energize your heart."

-Brian Houston, For This I Was Born

Literally a day before I read this excerpt from Pastor Brian's book, I was feeling like several of the tasks at hand were "distant from what's in my heart"; and there-he practically took the words from my mouth and handed them back to me covered with encouragement and energy for my heart.

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2. "As for you, the anointing you received from him remains in you, and you do not need anyone to teach you. But as his anointing teaches you about all things and as that anointing is real, not counterfeit-just as it has taught you, remain in him...so that when he appears we may be confident and unashamed before him at his coming."

-1 John 2:27-28

A week ago, I stumbled upon these inspiring verses in 1 John during my own time with God; and then Darlene Zschech spoke it over us at a Hillsong Creative meeting so we could be "confident and unashamed" to stand in and lead others into His presence!

Confident and Unashamed

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3.

"The pessimist complains about the wind.

The optimist expects it to change.

The leader adjusts the sails."

-John Maxwell, Developing the Leader Within You

This whole week, I've been struggling with my negative attitude. I got stuck in the "I know that I have a bad attitude toward all my situations-- just leave me alone and let me be mad right now!" sort of mood. The above quote came from an assignment for my Personal Leadership class this week, which was to read the chapter, "The Extra Plus of Leadership: Attitude," of John Maxwell's book, Developing the Leader Within You. Ok, ok. I get the picture: I'm at a leadership college, training to be a leader; so it would be wise if I took control of my feelings and changed my attitude. He also shared in this chapter that, "Leadership has less to do with position than it does disposition." So, it doesn't matter if I'm assigned to the lowest possible position-I won't complain, I'll adjust my attitude.

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Isn't it amazing how, when you are so in tune with and sensitive to the Holy Spirit, He builds every detail of your life into a masterpiece...slowly revealing new bits and pieces that perfectly fit together.

God is energizing my heart!

I am anointed. I am confident. I am unashamed. I can change my attitude. I have a specific purpose. I have something unique to offer. I am a leader :)

Stripped

This no internet at home thing has been a major test for me. Do you realize how much we rely on the internet? I mean really. Try going a week, a few days, or even just a day without it. It’s like I’ve been stripped of everything that is familiar to me: my parents, my sisters, my closest friends, as well as everyone I know at church, work, and school; the students in the youth group, and the kids that I babysit… I would see them every week and/or they all used to be easily contacted through the internet or a simple text message/phone call that doesn’t cost a week’s worth of budget haha. That’s been one of the hardest things in my life thus far: the inability to talk to my family at my convenience.

So, I’m in an unfamiliar place, with hundreds of new faces, a different culture, experiencing new things, and no one here knows me as me, but Jesus. I liked to think before that I found my identity in Christ, but unfortunately I can see now that I found my identity more so in my music, my jeep (oh how I miss that piece of junk), my family, my friends, the way people perceive me on facebook, my room and personal style, my church, my talents, my accomplishments, even in the connections I’ve made and the height on the “ladder” on which I’ve started to climb. Chris Hill, a renowned speaker who works alongside T.D. Jakes, came to Hillsong a few weeks ago and reminded us that sometimes you have to be completely stripped of your old ways in order to get ready for the new blessings and plan for your life that God has prepared. But during the in-between time, you feel uncomfortable and naked. Welp, that’s where I am…

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience…And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” –Colossians 3:12, 14

Considering the fact that yesterday was Valentine's Day, I especially want to remind everyone to put on love. One of the mottos that is at the heart of Hillsong Church is, "Love God, Love life, Love people."

I am so ready to be clothed!

Just a side note: We got our internet on the same day that my new niece, Lydia, was born--which is such a God thing because I really wished that I could be there, but at least I was able to see pictures of her right away!

No Worries!

I’ve tried many times to complete this blogpost, but for some reason I can’t seem to focus on finishing the task. Perhaps it’s because the internet company is being SLOW and I don’t have it at my house yet and I feel as though even if I do write it, it’s going to be even more of a task to actually post it; or because it’s difficult around here to have any sort of alone time every once in awhile (I totally took those times for granted at home). Maybe it’s just because every time I sit down to explain my thoughts, I keep adding more to the list of content that I want to include and I give up… Well, here’s the first of my lessons learned:

<---When I walked home from school today, it randomly hit me that I am currently residing in Sydney, Australia-- and I couldn’t stop smiling! I guess it’s because I’ve been so focused on meeting new people, getting everything in my life in order, starting school, getting familiar with the church and the area, organizing the house, making sure I have food…that I forgot to stop and think about what an amazing experience God is allowing me to live out right now. :) A common phrase heard here is “no worries.” People say it all the time, especially in response to “Thank you” or, “I’m sorry.” I like it!

“So, do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your Heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” –Matthew 6:31-34

I was pulling weeds this afternoon, preparing for our house inspection on Wednesday, and getting frustrated that because it’s been so flipping hot, everything is dead in our backyard. A couple hours later, it started raining. It didn’t rain for long, but I was so thankful for the change in weather. Oh my gosh, am I ever thankful to sit on my bed and have a cool breeze blowing in the window rather than sweating to death cuz it’s too expensive to have the AC running all the time… God knows what we need--No worries!