Forever Changed

Leaving Australia...

My last couple weeks in Oz were occupied with finishing assessments, studying, getting the particular papers signed so my church-life serving would be counted toward graduating, final touches on the house in order to hand over my keys...and then there was the actual Grad Dinner: full of music, friends, pretty pictures, crowd jumping/dancing ;) and mingling with everyone I've met throughout the year. And I'll never forget the ceremony when I walked across the stage to receive my Cert IV from Pastors Brian and Bobbie. There were several trips to the beach with people I love to hang out with, amazing late night chats with my best friends and housemates, several "final parties" and some one-on-one time that was spent reflecting on 2009. There has also been some restless nights and lazy days when I just can't clear my head to get anything done. And, not so much- did I enjoy the goodbyes, but I will keep moving ahead. I'm looking forward to the next chapter: the new people I will meet, the new things I will learn, and the new experiences that result from those.
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I, I'm just not sure how to explain to people how much this year at HILC has changed me. My personal life, my social life, my spiritual life; my dreams, my goals, my perspective; my word bank ;) even my choice of clothing! My devotion to Jesus, my worldview, my attitude toward materialism and technology, and dependency on other people, (and how-when things are made so easy for us- nobody wants to take time to use their brain to think for themselves!) My leadership style and even somewhat my personality within leadership(or should I say servanthood!), my work ethic and new understanding of boundaries within friendships. My view of what it means to be the church and be the change...

I could literally write something about each of the things listed. This task- actually being a goal in which I hope to accomplish someday. All I ask, dear God, is that you will radiate through me, that your love will pour out of me, and your Spirit will help me to encourage other people.

Goodbye for now, Australia-I'll be back someday soon. Hillsong, I thank you for furthering my knowledge about life and the One who created life. I won't ever forget my experience and everyone I met who made it even richer. I, um-I'm forever grateful and forever changed.

A Deep Sense of Appreciation

In lieu of Thanksgiving and the reminder from Pastor Brian to never lose your deep sense of appreciation, I started making a list of things that I appreciate deeply :)

30 things that I'm thankful for:

1. The change of seasons and the different colors they bring to the earth
   
2. Creativity and the opportunities to utilize and display it
3. People who give me tight hugs
4. A God who knows my heart and tenderly holds my dreams with care


5. My parents who love me allow me room to grow (even when it's on the other side of the world!)


6. My sisters who will do cheesy things with me just for the sake of fun


7. Rain. when I'm in a car. in my room. sitting on the porch. the sound it makes on the roof. the sound it makes when the wind blows it through the trees in my yard. the feeling of security and peace it gives me. how it feels on my open hand. the droplets it forms on my window.


8. All the customer service/public relations people that have ever served me in any sort of way. ie: custodians, secretaries, waiters, airline attendants/pilots/captains, etc.--all airport employees, pastors, technology support people, policemen, firemen, teachers, construction workers, realtors, fellow stage managers, amusement park employees, cashiers, baristas, bank tellers, anyone who has the desire to help in the medical field--God bless you, toll-booth operators, leaders who take people's attitudes so others don't have to...


9. Film-makers: yes I do appreciate the entertainment. Actually, a huge THANK YOU goes out to everyone involved in the production of movies, T.V. shows, albums, etc...


10. Authors--I do love a good read


11. Singers and songwriters! what can I say--you guys change the world.


12. Friends all around the globe-thank you for opening my American eyes


13. My peaceful home--and my peaceful room that I can escape to when I need time alone with Jesus
    
14. The ability to drive somewhere taking 10 minutes roundtrip, which would normally take an hour walking...


15. A comfy bed and a squishy pillow. enough said


16. The encouragement to DREAM BIG


17. God's promise. There's nothing to worry about, because He won't back down from His promise. [Ok, well then--use me as much as You want, God, cuz I'd rather play into Your plan instead of trying to fit You into mine!!]


18. The word, "the." It is, after all, used quite often; and I'm not sure what I'd do without it.


19. The ability to retain memories [and for my camera that helps capture them in a physical form]


20. The Holy Spirit who starts the day with me, helps me make decisions, and is always there to hold my hand. I mean...who wouldn't want that kind of friend?


21. Water and air conditioning on a hot day


22. Cleanliness


23. People who take the time to appreciate me


24. The opportunity to learn new skills


25. Relationships that allow me to be myself
    
26. Music. and how it fuels different emotions
    
27. On that note: emotions! without them, life would be pretty dang boring


28. Beautiful scenery and all of creation; and those who document it with a brush, paint, and/or writing utensils
    
29. Sweets! [ie: Krispy Kreme doughnuts, SourPatch, Pop-Tarts, Cinnamon buns, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Buttermints, Cake(from Costco!!), Snickerdoodles, Fudgy brownies.....ok, that's probably enough for now]


30. The ability to LOVE. the love between friends. love for my future husband. love for my family. love for those who don't necessarily like me. love for those in need. love for the church. love for the individuals in a crowd. love for God. love from God.

Your Request is Granted...

Every 2 months or so, I get a terrible stomach ache that doesn't go away for several days. I'm not sure what it is or why it happens... Yesterday, I woke up at 3:30am with it again. Knowing that I had to be up at 5:00 for stage managing, I tried my best to get a couple more hours of (unfortunately restless) sleep. I was determined to have a good morning because I had been looking forward to working with the two other girls that were rostered on my team. Before I left, God put Matthew 4:23 on my heart, so I opened it up and read,

"Jesus went throughout Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the good news of the kingdom, and healing every disease and sickness among the people (italics mine)."

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Lately, the idea of healing has been really heavy on my mind. It is one of those things that I will never understand, especially when, like with my current request, I don't receive the healing I ask for right away. The questions that i ask myself are, "Do I really believe He wants to and will do this? Do I trust in medicine and worldly inventions more than I do in my Creator?" Whoa.

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After reading "...and healing every disease and sickness among the people," I just sat there on my bed in unbelief that the Holy Spirit would guide me to such a specific verse. he does it often, but every time I am stunned by His intimate knowledge of my current needs. An answer to my questions before is simply, "No, I don't." If I'm really being honest with myself, I can close my eyes and wish with all my might that my faith is as sure as the Canaanite woman's in Matthew 15:21-28; but there's still a wall there in my heart--and I'm sad to conclude that my faith has mainly been based on experience to this point.

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It is certainly a journey, but God is revealing new ways to extend my faith without sight of the end result. Through church, lectures, chapels, conversations with friends, devotions, and assignments--as well as the research it has provoked--has encouraged me to pursue a childlike faith. This childlike faith believes whole-heartedly that my Father wants to bless me; it believes that He is the answer to anything I need; and it believes fully in the promises of God's Word-instead of letting human experiences dictate my personal faith. What an honor it would be to hear Jesus say to me, as He did to this woman in verse 28,

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"Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted."

Born to be Wild!

I started writing in my journal for the day and ended up with this:

"This is what I feel like one of my main purposes is in life: To...INSPIRE people."

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I guess every time that I write poems, songs, stories, or just recount lessons that I've learned in my personal journal--my hope is that someday (even if it's after I move to Heaven!) they will be used to impact someone's life. God has really placed that desire deep within me and I want to continue growing more in Him and learning who He is; and fully experiencing his grace and love, so that my God-vocabulary is rich with clarity. In one of my New Testament classes, we were to share one or two verses that sum up how we have felt the call of God on our lives personally, and what the Bible has to say about missions. Missions-- that could be taken in quite a few different angles, hey? Well, I chose these two scriptures to explain my interpretation:

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1. In Revelation 3, John, referring to the church in Laodicia, starting in verse 15 he writes God's words, "I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other!" Then you can sense his vehement emotion, when he proclaims in verse 16, "So because you are lukewarm--neither hot nor cold--I am about to spit you out of my mouth." Clearly, God does not appreciate lazy, complacent followers--it actually sounds like He'd rather you not call yourself part of His family at all! But chin up--He goes on to end with a positive note: that those He rebukes and disciplines are the ones that He loves.

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2. Keep that in mind while reading the last part of Mark 7:24, "...yet he could not keep his presence secret." I want God's light to be radiating so bright within me that I CAN'T KEEP HIS PRESENCE SECRET!!

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...So my MISSION is to live a life full of passion and zeal for Christ and be so overwhelmed and filled to the brim with His presence that I can't keep this Man, who is the answer to life and hope for the world, a secret! To live a life that inspires other people to get off their butts and serve Him with everything they have because He LOVES us...that's a cause worth pursuing!

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To quote one of my leaders here at college, "If you can't be a wild non-Christian, you might as well be a wild Christian!"

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Choose to be HOT.

Moolah- (n) slang term for $

Money, money, money, money...money! (go ahead-sing the song) Why does moolah tend to control every aspect of life? Can’t do this, can’t go there, I have to buy these, how long is my hair?? Ok, ok-I just put in that last one cuz it rhymed (but, I do cut my own hair now haha). God has really been speaking to me about sharing and giving with a compassionate heart. He’s referring to sharing food, the laundry room, everything else in the house, giving time, resources, smiles, money...


Here's a little story: Let's face it, it's frustrating to me when I reach for a piece of gum from my bag and then 5 people around me either see my hand grabbing the pack of minty goodness or it wafts up into their nostrils as I slowly and quietly peel away the wrapper. Dude, my mom sent me that Big Red from home; I bought that Extra with my own Australian coins! Alright, why does this kind of thing bother me? It really shouldn't be a big deal.

I came to a simple realization—that when something isn’t mine (like a new pack of gum left behind at my house with nobody to claim it..woohoo!) then I don’t mind giving all of it away, since it was never mine to begin with. God was like, “Briana, nothing on Earth is truly yours, so, like this gum, you shouldn’t have a problem with giving freely, cheerfully, and willingly to others who may need it more than you.” Whoa, wait a minute! I have a budget, things to buy, places to go, a stomach to fill…and you want me to just keep giving and thinking of others needs before my own? God, you're asking too much, right? WRONG. I’m blessed to bless others. Period. And guess what? Even if you’ve heard this before, you've read it a million times, been there-done that..blah, blah. I get it; I do, but check it out one more time:

“One man gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty. A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed. People curse the man who hoards grain, but blessing crowns him who is willing to sell.” [Proverbs 11:24-26]

Did you catch that? When you refresh someone else, God will refresh you--Because you're not focused on trying to refresh yourself, God takes care of it for you. What a relief! I can write from experience that He will keep this promise, but you'll never know how He's going to do it; which is exactly what makes life so curiously fun!

Now take a look at verse 27: "He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it." Hello! So, this is my mission: to seek good, not evil; and not to be a hoarder!